How do you handle the Migraines of life?


This morning I woke up with a whopping Migraine headache.  I get them occasionally and they suck!  I'm sitting here with an icepack on the back of my neck, and everything inside of me is screaming,

"Take your Imitrex, and go back to bed!!"

A Migraine headache is one's painful, for sure. I'm sharing my pain here, to remind myself of the payoff ; knowing I can keep going--in spite of the pain.

But what about the BIG challenges in life; those times when life feels like it's closing in on you.  What then?  

Cancer strikes

You've lost your job

Addiction hits your family

You can't pay your bills

Your hearts been broken

Death has knocked on your door

I learned an expression once...Feel, Dump, Heal.  It's become more than an expression to me, it's a life preserver in an ocean of despair. It's a way of coping with the curve balls of life.

Feel -

Allow yourself to feel shock, panic, anger, sadness, rage, feeling alone, lost, and overwhelmed by the situation. In order to heal, it is vital to face, feel, and process all of your feelings. Running away from, or avoiding your feelings only prolongs the grieving process. I know, I've done this.

Dump - 

Vocalize your feelings to someone else.  Prayer is one way.  Talking to someone you can trust with your feelings, is another.  When you're in crisis, look for the friend that will lend an ear and give support without passing judgment. A support group is a safe place to share with others going through the same experience. Journaling your feelings releases them to paper.

Heal - 

The definition of Faith is: being certain of something you can not see. At times, we can't see past the circumstances we are in. Trusting in something bigger than we are, brings hope, and hope brings healing. Hope never disappoints (Romans 5:5). 

Your beliefs aid in the healing process; especially your belief about yourself.  Do you see yourself as God sees you?  

He sees you as worthy.  

Worthy of conquering cancer treatment, worthy of facing addiction, worthy of getting through the loss of a loved one.  Yes, you are Worthy.  

It's our own self-worth that causes us to doubt. But, ponder this...

What's the payoff if you just keep going?  


“There are no great men, only great challenges that ordinary men are forced by circumstances to meet.”
~ William F. Halsey




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#IBN30-Part 3-The Great Recession hits!


The recession in 2008/09 didn't actually hit the beauty industry until 2010, in Southern CA.  Typically the beauty industry doesn't feel a recession much at all, but, this one was different!

In the salon business, we found, women changed their habits.  

They were coming in less often to get their hair done. Make-up artists, aestheticians, and manicurists, were feeling the pinch of the economy the most.  I get it--when you lose your job--happening in alarming numbers, here in Southern, CA--you have to cut back. Nails, facials, and make up; are not necessities.

PPI (Parisian's Pure Indulgence) felt it too.  Our wholesale accounts were dwindling.  Spa's and gift boutiques were closing daily.  It was the trickle down effect.  Our web business was affected too. Women who purchased faithfully, every 1-2 months, purchased less frequently, in smaller quantities.

We held on for the ride, but it was not easy!  

I observed many artisan businesses, like mine, close down. I feel blessed to have the loyal customers we do, and for the new ones who are now finding us, thanks in part, to our existing loyal customers. The recovery has been slow, with many opportunities for learning, for instance, we learned--

As an Artisan businesses, you must market differently today!  

"You see, an artisan doesn’t have to be good Just at what they make, they have to also be good at social media, marketing, advertising and packaging. Large corporations have *departments* of experts that handle that, but your local artisan doesn’t.

--That’s where you come in--

We live in a new economy where you, the consumer has much more power than ever before; comments on social media have a lot more value than an advertisement, but you have to exercise your viewpoint. We artisans live or die by opinions, votes, testimonials and recommendations.

In the vast universe of advertising, usually the one who has the most money (biggest budget) wins, Period.

If you love your indies, SHARE AND RECOMMEND THEM OFTEN. Your votes (recommendations) go out to the Universe and multiply. Your voice has the ability to propel a virtual unknown into the big leagues (or, at the very least, keep them in business). We can’t succeed without your support, it’s a delicate symbiotic relationship, and one we usually don’t feel comfortable with," writes Jennifer Waller, Fellow Indie, and founder of Celtic Complexion.

Jennifer is SPOT ON.  Today, more than ever, artisan businesses need YOU, and no, we don't feel comfortable asking for your social media support, constantly.  We simply recognize, we have too.

Our Recovery News...

...Parisian's Pure Indulgence is re-branding!  What does this mean?  It means we are listening to you, our customer, and changing things up.  

You will see changes in everything from our packaging, to our website; and everything in-between. We are discontinuing our Men's line (Men are buying the Women's line anyway!).   Our informal facebook surveys, have uncovered how women like their skin care products to be packaged--We listened--Watch for foaming cleansers, and other changes in how we package our treatments; to better serve YOU!

Over the years, we have observed our Niche market to be:

Professional 50-ish Women, with sensitive skin.

So, the MOST exciting news is we are adding exciting timeless beauty treatments, and will be focusing on products for skin issues, such as Rosacea and Eczema.  I will also be blogging more on--Being Your Beautiful Best over 50!

What is the the biggest skin care issue you are dealing with?  Is your skin care line addressing these issues?






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#IBN30 Parisian's Pure Indulgence and Those Damn Pink Bows!

Parisian's Pure Indulgence is born!

After I made and sold 200 Sugared Butter Whip Body Polishes, in 3 weeks, I thought to myself, now what?  Should I make a business of this???

 I would like to tell you, I have a business degree, so I knew exactly what steps needed to be taken to create a sustainable business..but, I didn't.  I would like to tell you I was a Marketing expert, who knew exactly where, and how to market a product...but I wasn't. I'd like to tell you I had the know how to create an entire line of facial care products too...but, I couldn't. 

Here's what I do know, I know how to enlist the assistance of experts in all these areas!   And, my greatest advantage:

I know what women want and need from their skin care--  

I was face to face with them for 25 years!

I didn't have much of a budget for the afore-mentioned experts either.  As a matter of fact, the only start up money I had was my own small savings account.  I paid for everything else as I went along. 

My clients were my greatest resource! I had a client who was and attorney and handled the legalities, another client/friend was a graphic artist: she helped me design a logo and labels.  I even had a client in the plastic container business!  

My biggest challenge though, was marketing.  I searched the web, day in--and day out, for information on how to market a small artisan business.  

I learned, I needed to establish a "Niche" market for my body care products, and I decided to target the salon industry.  After all, I knew it well.  I sold to other manicurists, hair stylists and aestheticians, and my existing clients.   In 2005, purity in products was beginning to be a concern.  Organics were just around the corner. I'm proud that we were one of the first to introduce Organics into our line.

Those Damn Pink Bows!


Early on, I enlisted my family's help with filling containers, labeling, and "Those Damn Pink Bows." I decided to tie a pink bow on every product or package I sold.  I wanted to make our packaging colorful and distinct, all within my very small budget!

It became a family joke, when my in-laws came over to help package and tie bows for my first large wholesale order.  My mild-mannered Mother in Law, coined the phrase... "Those Damn Pink bows," after about the 100th little pink bow she tied! We learned she was the best at tying those Damn Pink Bows though! We later changed our labeling and added color, and lost those Damn Pink Bows for good!

Eventually, we branched out to Spas and Gift Boutiques, and developed our web site. The list of people who helped me get my foot in the door at these locations, were many. When you've been in the beauty industry, for as long as I have, you know a lot of people, and they know a lot of people.  Things were humming along nicely for PPI when...

...2008/2009 and the great recession hit!!

Tomorrow I'll share how we got through this challenging time, are re-branding, and creating a NEW niche market, along with some exciting new products!


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#IBN30 How my Kitchen Aid Mixer and I started an Artisan Business



"Artisans are impelled to make things. They get restless if they do not create something tangible. They generate an idea, and from within themselves they turn it out into material reality. They take the raw material in their hands and fashion it into things of beauty or function." ~Dave Gregg.

When I was whipping up my first batch of Sugared Butter Whip Body Polish in my Kitchen Aid mixer, I didn't think of myself as an Artisan, I simply saw a need; in my manicuring business, and looked for a way to fill the need.

The need was to separate myself, and how I performed my service, from the crowd.  One way to do this, was with the products I would use.  I knew products being sold to manicurists were, mediocre at best. I could tell by the texture, the scents, and how short lived the "feel good" effect was. 

What I didn't know or understand, is what these products were made of.  

This became my mission.  

For the next 6 months, I began reading every ingredient label; on every skin care product, I could get my hands on (excuse the pun). I looked at low end, to high end products. The one thing they all had in common, was 

a bunch of ingredients most of us could not pronounce, much less know what they were, and why you would want to put them on your skin. 

I began a study of ingredients, and their function in skin care products. What I learned is most products contained, mostly water, in conjunction with petro chemicals, sulfates, silicones, heavy metals, mineral oils, parabens, phythalates, synthetic dyes, and fragrances.  

In the right formulation, these ingredients might make your skin feel good for a time, but at what cost to the health of your skin?

I decided to formulate a body polish, to use in my business, that did NOT contain any of the above mentioned ingredients.  What I discovered was, my clients had better and long lasting results, and my body polish was actually good for the health of their skin.

It was the beginning of December, 2005, when I whipped up my first jar of Sugared Butter Whip Body Polish.  I brought it to work, not knowing what the reaction would be when I told my clients I was using something I had made in my kitchen, on them!

The reaction was surprising and inspiring...They loved the polish!  

Sugared Butter Whip-6.0 oz

 Not only did they love it, they wanted to purchase more to take home!  It was my clients who spurred me on.  I remember going home and telling my family, my clients think I should make more of this to sell. What do you think?

So it began! I ordered containers, labels, shea butter, etc., and thought, if I sold 20 or 30 of these before Christmas, we would have a little extra spending money for the holidays.  

Little did I know, I would sell 200 jars of scrub in just 3 weeks!  



Parisian's Pure Indulgence is born!  Read how one container of Sugar scrub launched an entire line of Organic skin care for Men and Women, sold in Salons, Spas and on the web, in tomorrows blog....

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#IBN30 The good news about Friendships after 50!



My lifelong friends, at our recent wedding.

Many things change in your 50's, and friendship is no exception.  Friendships become golden! Perhaps, it's because we've been on the planet just long enough to notice how short life can be, 

you cherish your friends all the more.

When you are in your twenties, your life is fairly self-involved.  You may be in college, making friends with people from all over the world.  Or, you may be working and forming relationships with your co-workers.  These friendships are important, some of them will even be life long; but they're not gold yet.  

By late 20's and 30's you are in full career mode, perhaps even baby-mode.  Friendships are important, but not as rich, simply because there's not enough time to nurture the relationship.

Then the 40's hit and you are full steam ahead in career and/or your children.  Many of your friends are people your kids go to school with, or sports/activites, and your topic of conversation, ends up being...all about the kids.  

Most friendships are based on commonalities.

The 50's arrive and that's when true friendships thrive!  Your career is established and kids are seeking their independence, and now you find yourself with more time to enjoy the relationships you've formed.  There's not enough time and energy for the pettiness, you may have experienced in younger years, too.

~This season is one of the richest for friendship~

My friendships today are so important...more so than ever!  It was when I recently got married, and felt their overwhelming love and happiness, for my fiancee and I, that I think I realized the true value of friendship.  

We all have those friends that we can count on when the chips are down.  They are the good listeners; full of empathy.  This is important too, extremely important, when you're in a life crisis.

But, the friends that rejoice with you in your happiness--

bless your life in a very special way.

My friends jumped in to help with our wedding...we let them too!  It made the experience so much more personal.  Everyone loves a good love story, don't they?  Especially later in life!  We were surrounded with love and happiness the day we got married.  It made it so much more special.

Friendship in your 50's is fabulous!


My bestie Pat...pure gold!



 Tomorrow's friends and loved ones support us when we decide to start our own business --at 49 yrs old!--The story of Parisian's Pure Indulgence!



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Silkissime Review

Do you ever find yourself completely overwhelmed as you walk around a store like Sephora, or up and down the make up aisles of Target?  You know what you're looking for, and from the claims on the packaging...

...smear proof, smudge proof, water proof, all day wear, etc., etc.,

it shouldn't be hard to find! All I want is a  soft, dark brown/charcoal pencil, to line my eyes; that won't smudge or flake off. 

It shouldn't be hard to find, but alas; I've been looking for years! 

Typically, pencils are either hard, making them difficult to apply, or they're too soft; and don't stay on longer than an hour or two. If I do find one I like, and accidentally leave the lid off; it drys out, and is unusable!  

Or, they may go on great at the start of the day, but by 11:00; you see smudges under your eyes, or little flakes of the dark pencil.

I like to use a liquid liner on my upper lid, just above my eyelashes, and a soft pencil, smudged lightly, under my eye.  

Tip: After 50, don't line the inside of the upper or lower lid.  

It closes the may define your eye, but it makes your eye look smaller.  This is not a good idea for those of us over 50. Use a pencil just above or below your eyelashes, to define, without making your eyes look smaller.  


I think I may have found what I'm looking for.  3 weeks ago, I purchased a Loreal Silkissime, charcoal eyeliner.  So far, so good.  It goes on easily, stays on, without any under eye smudging.  I haven't left the lid off, so it hasn't passed that test yet ;-)

 I found it at Target, and it cost approximately $10.00.  

I use our Parisian's Pure Indulgence Creme Fraiche facial cleanser to remove the liner, other eye make up, and to cleanse my skin, every night. It cleans thoroughly, without drying, and is great for sensitive skin.

What is your favorite eyeliner pencil and why?  

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#IBN30 Finding Love After 50 - Part 3

"Love does not require that we think alike" ~Debbie Leoni


I like to tell people Don and I met the old fashioned way--online dating!  The process of online dating scares many off, but by the time Don and I met, I had learned how to streamline the process.

I could tell within 15 minutes of a first phone call, if  the man I was speaking to, was someone I wanted to meet in person. 

The first thing I noticed about Don was his voice.  He has an amazing voice!  It's deep, soothing, and yes, sexy!  Right away, I picked up on his warmth and sincerity.  He was open to talking about anything. On our second call we both shared our intention to be married again.  

You talked about Marriage before you even met?!

We sure did! I knew early on, my intention was to marry again, so why waste each others time, dating, if we weren't on the same page about marriage?

Being part of a couple...a married how I'm wired.  I struggled with being single, not because I was lonely, I have a very active social life, I simply could not identify with being single.

Don and I knew each other exactly 1 year, 3 days; before we married.  During that year we learned a lot about each other.  

We learned we have a lot of differences!

He is tall, 6' 5";  I am petite, 5'3".  He is punctual, I'm always 5 minutes late. He prefers a new home, traditional styles, and a manicured yard.  I like an older home, with more character (smile), contemporary decor, and more natural type landscaping.  He prefers warm temps, and doesn't like to be cold.  I always run hot, so I'm okay with cooler temps.  But, our biggest difference is:  


I'm a foodie! Look up foodie in the dictionary, and you'll see my picture!  I adore dining...fine dining! I love trying trendy new restaurants.  When I cook, I enjoy preparing dishes that are out of the ordinary, mixing sweet and savory, fresh herbs, fresh fish, unusual and healthy ingredients--you get the picture.   

I get excited at the thought of a 3 hour dining experience, at a 5 star French Restaurant, with course after course of mouth watering dishes, beautifully presented! 

My man is content with steak, pasta and Mexican food (my least favorite food!).  He frequents fast food restaurants.  Don is the first to admit, he's a finicky eater.  

I love to cook, and I put my heart into the meals I prepare; when he's underwhelmed with my efforts, I allow my feelings to get hurt. I think to myself,

"Everyone loves my cooking, why don't you?" 

After we got married, I made the decision to stop taking it personally,  I also found a way to make us both happy with our meals. 

First, I ask for his input more often, about what we should have for dinner.  If he says steak,  I prepare a steak for him, and fish for me.  I don't cook as experimentally, as I did before.  I also let him take me out more, or we pick up food.  It's a win/win, because if I'm not in the kitchen,

 I have more time to spend with him! 

Our core values are the same, and that's what's important!  Our shared faith is first and foremost. When our second date was attending church together, I knew he was a keeper.  

We both speak the same love language...physical touch.  We hold hands, always.  We love to cuddle and just be together.  We are both sensitive, caring, and compassionate people.  If you haven't read the book,

The Five Love Languages, I highly recommend it! 

It teaches there are five ways to express love emotionally. Each person has a primary love language that we must learn to speak if we want that person to feel loved. 

We align in our political beliefs, taking care of our health, and both care about our appearance.  We also enjoy ballroom dancing together; he is a natural dancer.  

We have mutual respect for each other, so when we do have a disagreement, we fight clean.  What I mean by this is, no raised voices...ever!  We do not accuse either.  

Our agreement is, when we are upset about something, we give it some time before coming back together and talking about what's bothering us.  We discuss, we don't fight.

This makes it safe to let the other person know how you feel, without being in the heat of an argument, and saying things you'll regret later.

Being mature has made us appreciate our relationship more, too. We've both had failed marriages, and I believe we work a little harder at making this our last and best relationship, ever! 

What do you do to strengthen your relationships?  I welcome all tips! 


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#IBN30 Finding Love After 50 - Part 2

Finding Love After 50, continued--

 We were halfway through lunch, when my date proclaimed...

"...Kelli, you were a man in your past life."

"Oh, really (eyebrow raised)?"

I'd like to tell you, I came up with some witty response, but all I could think was, "Good grief, just get me out of here!"  My second thought, "Well, if I was a Man in a past life, were you a Woman in yours; and is that why we're here?

I also dated men with weird eating habits, like the guy who only ate Top Ramen for lunch--every single day. He also watched Gilligan's Island reruns, after his Top Ramen lunch...every single day! He was retired, and well, I guess, he could.  Note to self:  I'm never retiring!!!

Shoot me now, if I don't have anything better to do than watch

Gilligan's Island reruns!!


Women over 50, here's what you should know about men in our age bracket:

There are a lot of hurting men out there!  Men who have lost children (I met 4), Men who have been pretty beaten up emotionally and financially, by Women, and men who never want to marry again. 

There are also a number of men our age, who are sincerely looking to have healthy, meaningful, long term relationships.  Most just don't know how to go about it!  They are genuine and decent men, men who love their families; and really don't like being single, or dating. And, contrary to popular belief, they aren't all looking for babes half their age. 

At some point, perhaps for self-preservation, I decided to approach dating like this....

"What is it I can learn from this man?"  

It removed the element of disappointment when a date was not what I hoped for.  I believe there is always something I can learn from someone else.  Occasionally, the learning was; this is what I don't want in a relationship, then there were the times--

I needed to learn something about myself.  

When they would tell me about their failed marriages, and the things their ex wives did...I would ask myself, "Did I do that in my own failed marriage?"

Sadly, occasionally the answer was, "Yes, I did."  

This was an opportunity for me to take a hard look at myself.  When the emotional involvement was removed, I could see where I had done or said some of the same things. I have vowed to learn from what these men shared with me, and make different choices in my current marriage.  

Speaking of which, I can't wait to tell you about the wonderful man I recently married!  We are different in many ways, but,

our shared core values, I believe, will make this a lasting relationship.  

In tomorrow's blog, I'll share how we are building a solid foundation for marriage.  I'll also share how he supports me in growing, my business, Parisian's Pure Indulgence!

I'm also interested in knowing your tips on how to have a healthy marriage after 50, or at any age!


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The greatest gift my Father gave me


My Father and I were very close when I was a child...and then again, in the last 10-15 years of his life.

But, there were a number of years in between -- we were very distant.  The realization that this was mostly my doing, came as an adult and parent myself.

You see, for many years, I was angry with my father. Angry that he chose to leave my Mom, angry that the time we spent with him on his visitation Sunday's was spent at church, and him dropping us off at the movie theatre.

Back then, those two events would take up pretty much the whole day!  

Movies were double features back in the day.

Church Sunday, was Sunday School first, then "big church" with Dad.  While I enjoyed the movies, he always dropped my brother, sister and I off, and never went with us--that's the part I didn't like.

I was not happy about going to church at 12 years old, either.  It was there, I "acted out" my displeasure.  I would wear the shortest skirt in my closet--and in the 60's they were pretty short!  

My favorite seat was the one furthest in back of  the Sunday School class. With my arms folded obstinately, in front of me, I would think...get me out of here!   

I wanted to be doing things with my dad--kid things!   I wanted to TALK to my Dad, get to know who he was,  and let him get to know the young teenage girl I was becoming.  

While I went to church kicking and screaming, today I realize it was the best of many gifts my Dad gave me.  He knew my parents divorce was particularly hard on me, since I was the oldest child.  In his quiet way, he was telling me,

"Kelli, your faith is what will sustain you through this,

and all the difficult times to come."

Seeds were being planted in my heart, even as I sat there in church, pretending not to listen.  

Today I consider my Dad taking me to church as the greatest gift he ever gave me.  

I got the opportunity to tell him, too.  I remember that talk very well.  One morning, while visiting him at his home in Tucson, I asked him to take a walk with me.  It was then that I thanked him for "forcing" me to go to church, and how much my faith and God meant to me.   I remember the tears rolling down his face as I shared this with him.  I know it touched him deeply.

You see, my Dad was like many men of that era.  They led their family by example.  While my Dad was quiet, there were many things I learned from example.

 It's been 5 years since my father passed away, and it seems like yesterday.  The last 10 years of his life we talked nearly every Sunday.  

I would call him on my way home!  Thank you, Dad!


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Finding Love after 50

  Finding Love After 50

I've been married to my Prince Charming (most days anyway :-), for 3 months now. We are still newbies, learning the fine art of compromise, committed to making this our last and best relationship!  That's us in the photo above.  But, our story is for another blog.

When I was 21, and getting married for the first time, never in my wildest dreams did I think--

I would be a divorced woman in my 50's... happens, and sadly, so does divorce. I don't minimize this either. I've always believed in marriage, the happily-ever-after-kind--but, at age 52, divorce happened.

I learned a lot about myself, in the 7 years I was single.  Things I hope you can learn from too, whether you're married or single.  

Even if you don't learn anything, you may get a good chuckle from my experiences.

Anyone who is single, and over 50, knows, the best way to increase your odds of meeting someone in the next century... is online dating.  

"Kelli, it's a numbers game--You must date many men, to find the right one, gushed a friend of mine--who had made an art out of online dating."

I remember thinking, "You've got to be kidding--that sounds AWFUL!" 

Who wants to tell their life story over and over?  At my age, I don't have time for endless dating! But guess what? I dated, and dated, and I dated some more.  Most were coffee dates, meet and greets, as they are commonly known as, in the dating world.  Over the next 7 years, I was to meet and date some very nice men, and well, some different sort of men. 

As I put my photo's and profile, on the dating site, I thought to myself, "Here goes, let's see what happens with this."  I've always been a hopeful romantic! 

Here's what I didn't do... I did not include photo's that were 10 years old, and I did not shave a few years off my age.


Call me old fashioned, but I think if your intent is to meet someone and enter into a relationship, why start off with dishonesty?  

This was to become my mantra!  According to the men I met, my honesty was rare! I was to also to learn, men were as dishonest, as women on their profiles.  

Let me tell you about my first date...

His name was Rick.  After a number of written correspondences, and about 4-5 phone calls, we decided on our first date.  Because I was a foolish newbie to dating, I invited him to pick me up at my house (something you should never do!)

My first red flag about Rick should have been when he asked me if he should pick me up in his Ferrari or Mercedes?  This did not impress me.  Quite the opposite...enter gag reflex.

In Rick's profile, he professed to be 54.  He had a nice photo with a dark full head of hair, and a warm smile.

As it turned out, it was a good thing he came to my door, because if I had met him at a restaurant, 

I would have walked right by the man who showed up at my door! 

Rick was actually 66 yrs old!  He had minimal light hair, was quite a few pounds heavier, and looked nothing like his profile pictures!  I mean Nothing!  I didn't know whether I should close the door, and say, "Kelli's not home!"  or just go with it.  

To his credit, he was a interesting person, and I went out with him 3 times. It was on date #3, when he shared his ability to see into the past, that made me re-think, date #4. We were halfway through lunch when he proclaimed...

"...Kelli, you were a man in your past life."

to be continued...

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