by Karen Salmansohn
Are you right now blaming your past for what’s missing in your present? If so, I say: Coulda woulda shoulda shuttupa! The time has come to stop blaming your past - and start blaming your present. What are you doing NOW to get the life you want NOW? With this in mind, I’ve got a few tips for how to better use your NOW to its fullest, so you can live your life to its fullest!
1. Next time you’re tempted to torture yourself with painful memories from your past, repeat this mantra: I am not my past behavior. I am not my past failures. I am not how others have at one time treated me. I am only who I think I am right now in this moment. I am only what I do right now in this moment!
2. Recognize if you ask depressing questions about your past, you will get depressing answers! For example there are no happy answers to "Why didn't I?" "Why did I?" "What if?" These are all time-wasters and downwardspiralers.. Hence, you must....from PPI Newsletter stop them and swap them with these new present-tense-oriented questions - which will make your present less-tense: "How can I learn from this?" "How am I better person from this?" "What can I do now to make my life better?" "Who can I surround myself with today to make my life happier?" "What can I do to relax?" "What do I have to look forward to that I should aim myself at?"
3. Step outside yourself. Volunteering is a great way to look outside your own problems and pain. Giving back makes you happier by giving you a sense of purpose and connecting you heart to heart to others. Plus, volunteering also helps to put your problems in perspective.
4. Remember - the part cannot be greater than the whole. It’s important to remind yourself that this hard time you’ve been through is merely a “slice” of your life, not your whole life. Think about your wide open future -- and remind yourself how you don't want your life to be defined by one circumstance from your past. Keep a gratitude journal to remind yourself of everything you do have in your life - rather than what's missing.
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