Finding Love After 50, continued--
We were halfway through lunch, when my date proclaimed...
"...Kelli, you were a man in your past life."
"Oh, really (eyebrow raised)?"
I'd like to tell you, I came up with some witty response, but all I could think was, "Good grief, just get me out of here!" My second thought, "Well, if I was a Man in a past life, were you a Woman in yours; and is that why we're here?
I also dated men with weird eating habits, like the guy who only ate Top Ramen for lunch--every single day. He also watched Gilligan's Island reruns, after his Top Ramen lunch...every single day! He was retired, and well, I guess, he could. Note to self: I'm never retiring!!!
Shoot me now, if I don't have anything better to do than watch
Gilligan's Island reruns!!
*****
Women over 50, here's what you should know about men in our age bracket:
There are a lot of hurting men out there! Men who have lost children (I met 4), Men who have been pretty beaten up emotionally and financially, by Women, and men who never want to marry again.
There are also a number of men our age, who are sincerely looking to have healthy, meaningful, long term relationships. Most just don't know how to go about it! They are genuine and decent men, men who love their families; and really don't like being single, or dating. And, contrary to popular belief, they aren't all looking for babes half their age.
At some point, perhaps for self-preservation, I decided to approach dating like this....
"What is it I can learn from this man?"
It removed the element of disappointment when a date was not what I hoped for. I believe there is always something I can learn from someone else. Occasionally, the learning was; this is what I don't want in a relationship, then there were the times--
I needed to learn something about myself.
When they would tell me about their failed marriages, and the things their ex wives did...I would ask myself, "Did I do that in my own failed marriage?"
Sadly, occasionally the answer was, "Yes, I did."
This was an opportunity for me to take a hard look at myself. When the emotional involvement was removed, I could see where I had done or said some of the same things. I have vowed to learn from what these men shared with me, and make different choices in my current marriage.
Speaking of which, I can't wait to tell you about the wonderful man I recently married! We are different in many ways, but,
our shared core values, I believe, will make this a lasting relationship.
In tomorrow's blog, I'll share how we are building a solid foundation for marriage. I'll also share how he supports me in growing, my business, Parisian's Pure Indulgence!
I'm also interested in knowing your tips on how to have a healthy marriage after 50, or at any age!
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