"Love does not require that we think alike" ~Debbie Leoni
I like to tell people Don and I met the old fashioned way--online dating! The process of online dating scares many off, but by the time Don and I met, I had learned how to streamline the process.
I could tell within 15 minutes of a first phone call, if the man I was speaking to, was someone I wanted to meet in person.
The first thing I noticed about Don was his voice. He has an amazing voice! It's deep, soothing, and yes, sexy! Right away, I picked up on his warmth and sincerity. He was open to talking about anything. On our second call we both shared our intention to be married again.
You talked about Marriage before you even met?!
We sure did! I knew early on, my intention was to marry again, so why waste each others time, dating, if we weren't on the same page about marriage?
Being part of a couple...a married couple...is how I'm wired. I struggled with being single, not because I was lonely, I have a very active social life, I simply could not identify with being single.
Don and I knew each other exactly 1 year, 3 days; before we married. During that year we learned a lot about each other.
We learned we have a lot of differences!
He is tall, 6' 5"; I am petite, 5'3". He is punctual, I'm always 5 minutes late. He prefers a new home, traditional styles, and a manicured yard. I like an older home, with more character (smile), contemporary decor, and more natural type landscaping. He prefers warm temps, and doesn't like to be cold. I always run hot, so I'm okay with cooler temps. But, our biggest difference is:
Food
I'm a foodie! Look up foodie in the dictionary, and you'll see my picture! I adore dining...fine dining! I love trying trendy new restaurants. When I cook, I enjoy preparing dishes that are out of the ordinary, mixing sweet and savory, fresh herbs, fresh fish, unusual and healthy ingredients--you get the picture.
I get excited at the thought of a 3 hour dining experience, at a 5 star French Restaurant, with course after course of mouth watering dishes, beautifully presented!
My man is content with steak, pasta and Mexican food (my least favorite food!). He frequents fast food restaurants. Don is the first to admit, he's a finicky eater.
I love to cook, and I put my heart into the meals I prepare; when he's underwhelmed with my efforts, I allow my feelings to get hurt. I think to myself,
"Everyone loves my cooking, why don't you?"
After we got married, I made the decision to stop taking it personally, I also found a way to make us both happy with our meals.
First, I ask for his input more often, about what we should have for dinner. If he says steak, I prepare a steak for him, and fish for me. I don't cook as experimentally, as I did before. I also let him take me out more, or we pick up food. It's a win/win, because if I'm not in the kitchen,
I have more time to spend with him!
Our core values are the same, and that's what's important! Our shared faith is first and foremost. When our second date was attending church together, I knew he was a keeper.
We both speak the same love language...physical touch. We hold hands, always. We love to cuddle and just be together. We are both sensitive, caring, and compassionate people. If you haven't read the book,
The Five Love Languages, I highly recommend it!
It teaches there are five ways to express love emotionally. Each person has a primary love language that we must learn to speak if we want that person to feel loved.
We align in our political beliefs, taking care of our health, and both care about our appearance. We also enjoy ballroom dancing together; he is a natural dancer.
We have mutual respect for each other, so when we do have a disagreement, we fight clean. What I mean by this is, no raised voices...ever! We do not accuse either.
Our agreement is, when we are upset about something, we give it some time before coming back together and talking about what's bothering us. We discuss, we don't fight.
This makes it safe to let the other person know how you feel, without being in the heat of an argument, and saying things you'll regret later.
Being mature has made us appreciate our relationship more, too. We've both had failed marriages, and I believe we work a little harder at making this our last and best relationship, ever!
What do you do to strengthen your relationships? I welcome all tips!
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