The greatest gift my Father gave me

 
 

My Father and I were very close when I was a child...and then again, in the last 10-15 years of his life.

But, there were a number of years in between -- we were very distant.  The realization that this was mostly my doing, came as an adult and parent myself.

You see, for many years, I was angry with my father. Angry that he chose to leave my Mom, angry that the time we spent with him on his visitation Sunday's was spent at church, and him dropping us off at the movie theatre.

Back then, those two events would take up pretty much the whole day!  

Movies were double features back in the day.

Church Sunday, was Sunday School first, then "big church" with Dad.  While I enjoyed the movies, he always dropped my brother, sister and I off, and never went with us--that's the part I didn't like.

I was not happy about going to church at 12 years old, either.  It was there, I "acted out" my displeasure.  I would wear the shortest skirt in my closet--and in the 60's they were pretty short!  

My favorite seat was the one furthest in back of  the Sunday School class. With my arms folded obstinately, in front of me, I would think...get me out of here!   

I wanted to be doing things with my dad--kid things!   I wanted to TALK to my Dad, get to know who he was,  and let him get to know the young teenage girl I was becoming.  

While I went to church kicking and screaming, today I realize it was the best of many gifts my Dad gave me.  He knew my parents divorce was particularly hard on me, since I was the oldest child.  In his quiet way, he was telling me,

"Kelli, your faith is what will sustain you through this,

and all the difficult times to come."

Seeds were being planted in my heart, even as I sat there in church, pretending not to listen.  

Today I consider my Dad taking me to church as the greatest gift he ever gave me.  

I got the opportunity to tell him, too.  I remember that talk very well.  One morning, while visiting him at his home in Tucson, I asked him to take a walk with me.  It was then that I thanked him for "forcing" me to go to church, and how much my faith and God meant to me.   I remember the tears rolling down his face as I shared this with him.  I know it touched him deeply.

You see, my Dad was like many men of that era.  They led their family by example.  While my Dad was quiet, there were many things I learned from him...by example.

 It's been 5 years since my father passed away, and it seems like yesterday.  The last 10 years of his life we talked nearly every Sunday.  

I would call him on my way home from.....church!  Thank you, Dad!

 

Comments

[Danielle Vincent]

Thank you for sharing this... Father's Day is a hard day for me this year because my dad and I are estranged for the first time in our 40 years of knowing each other. I'm not sure what to post about today anywhere, not on my blog, not on my facebook page, not anywhere... Thank you for the very real reminder that relationships can still be good even after a long period of not being good.

[Kelli]

Danielle, I promise you they can!
Go and write from your heart...

[Leigh]

Thank you Kelli as you know this is a really hard Fathers Day for us having Tanner's Dad leave us like your Dad did. But he left us to live with someone else younger with 3 kids so it hurts even deeper than just missing him . Thank you for sharing, it does help!
Luv u!!

[Jeanne Monast]

Father's Day is sad for me only bc I miss my dad so much. He was a great dad. A family man.. A loving husband, a hard worker, a great father. He took care of my mom after her strokes and later on when dementia took her..
Then he developed Alzheimer's and that took him from us.. We lost the man we lived even though he still was with us.. He was there but his memories were not. He passed last year and is freed of those chains... But I will always miss his guidance.

[Kelli]

Leigh,

I know Father's Day is tough, bringing up so many emotions for you both.
Tanner has you, and Your love. He also has the love of his Heavenly Father. I pray for God to comfort him and you today.

Love you too!

[Kelli]

Jeanne,

Your Dad sounds like he was a wonderful man!

I inderstand about Alzheimer's disease, my grandfather had it. So sad to watch them slip away.

Thanks for sharing about the love you had for your Dad.