Good or Beautiful can be thought of as the way someone looks or appears, but what is real Beauty...and what makes us #Ugly?
Interestingly, when you ask someone what makes a person beautiful, it rarely involves the outside. You will hear, she is fun-loving, generous, funny, smart, a great friend, etc. The word pretty, may be in the description somewhere, but the emphasis is on how the person shows up in life...their character.
Appearance is the first thing we notice about someone, though. How they put themselves together, perhaps their facial features, their hair, and yes, even wrinkles. We notice these things upon initial contact. We may even want to get to know them better, based on these externals.
The way a single woman looks, may be how she attracts a man. How you appear may help you land a job, or a new friend.
But, be ugly internally, and you can lose all three real fast!
Open your mouth and let criticism, sarcasm, and back-biting come out--and ugly soon becomes all someone else can see. You know what I'm talking about! The most beautiful woman in the world soon becomes ugly when what comes out of her mouth is anger, bitterness, victimhood (complaining about how life or others have treated them). Some women can hide this side for a while, but it usually doesn't take long for it to rear it's ugly head.
Personally, I struggle with sarcasm and women who say mean spirited things at someone else's expense. Most of all, I struggle with victim mentality. I have family members like this. It makes it very difficult for me to be around them, I'll be honest.
I can love them, and care about them, I just don't want to be around it. It feels like poison to me.
On the flip side, I know women who are average looking on the outside, may not have been dealt the best hand in life, and yet, they are so beautiful in character, you don't notice, nor care, about what they look like. They are truly beautiful, and you want to get to know them.
The truly beautiful woman, is the women
who cares as much about her character, and how she shows up in the world, as she does her appearance.
She cares about others, she is generous of spirit, and resources. She observes, and shares, the good in life. She is confidant and poised. She radiates beauty.
She also takes care of her appearance. There is nothing wrong with wanting to look the best you can, as long as it doesn't become all you are about. I know too many women who are far more concerned with their appearance, and pay little attention to their character.
How do you find the balance?
Begin with the internal. Be authentic (real). Tell others what you struggle with, just don't make it the only thing you talk about; don't be afraid to share the real you. Take ownership, don't be a victim, in your struggles. It's not always about the other person and how they've wronged you! I hear women do this all the time. I believe, in many cases, they don't even realize they do it. How many people do you hear blame their parents for their poor choices? If my Mom, had loved me, and told me how great I am, I wouldn't over eat, drink, pick bad men in my life...the list goes on and on.
You know what I say to this....blah, blah, blah. Get help, and don't wallow in victimhood. That may sound harsh, but it's true.
We all have the ability to make the choice to be happy, kind, fun-loving, and yes, even grateful, when life has dealt us blows.
Get busy, and make yourself feel beautiful!
No one's going to do it for you. Do something you're proud of. Complete a project you've been meaning to do, learn something new and share your learning! Give of yourself to someone else. Stop, and just be grateful, even for the small things.
Call someone and lift their spirits...genuinely, tell them something you like about them. Doesn't cost a thing, and you'll be surprised at how making someone else's day, in turn; makes yours.
When you feel good about something you've accomplished in life, be it large or small, it builds character, self esteem, and quickly turns the Ugly, into someone...truly beautiful!
This is very true. What's in a person't heart will flow to the outside and out their mouth! It's difficult to be around negativity , but I try to lift that person up or divert them, in hopes that I might focus their attention elsewhere and onto the joys of life. This was a great read!
Posted by: Ann S. | July 20, 2015 at 01:31 PM
Kelli,
Such an great informative post. Thank you. It's true I know someone who isn't that beautiful on the outside but her personality just beams and to me she is beautiful because of her soul.
Posted by: Michelle | July 20, 2015 at 07:48 PM
Loved, loved, loved your post! On my job, especially when I encounter other women, they let the ugly sides of themselves show so much! They define themselves not necessarily by their beauty, but by their titles and don't work on their character. They're not real with other people which shows they're not real with themselves. I couldn't agree more with what you said though I took it in another direction :)
Posted by: Tiffany | July 21, 2015 at 06:17 PM
Excellent post! I'm learning that I have choices in how other's actions affect me. That awareness feels life changing.
Posted by: Desiree D | July 23, 2015 at 07:51 PM